5 things we can learn from old style parenting in 80s and 90s.

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This is a new era with liberal thoughts and I totally admire and support the kind of liberty that has come through. This era often referred to as “Millennial era” has freshness of freedom and simplicity.

As the time has changed, we can clearly see the difference in parenting style in comparison to what we experienced while we were growing up.

I am a total fan of beautiful family system and simplicity that life had in 80s -90s. Entertainment meant enjoying movie on your small black and white tv with your family members. Outings meant picnic in same park every year but still creating new excitement every time.

There were a lot of basic principles that our parents followed during that time, which if followed now can give a good health and upbringing to our kids.

There are a few I totally swear by:

  • Eating at home: I remember that we rarely used to eat out and honestly we didn’t feel the need to eat out as there were not many food joints and big advertising hoardings talking about tempting junk food .Neither were there tempting TV advertisements .Eating out was meant for special occasions and ceremonies. We had choices of eating homemade authentic dishes. Our traditional food can still beat any junk food in taste and health benefits. Eating at home was no less than a celebration, all of us used to eat together, especially when my mom made something special. The fun of eating and spending time with family members always kept us close.
  • Outings meant picnics in parks: Our family had this ritual of going out for picnic once in a year. We really looked forward to this time of the year. Though visit was mostly to same place but it never felt boring as we enjoyed each-others company, had food cooked by our mother and played games with our father. Such simple activities made us even more connected, our parents talked to us and this gave us wonderful opportunity to interact with each other.
  • Playing meant outdoors: I remember our winter vacations were completely spent outdoors, playing and cycling with our friends. This not only helped us in proper physical but metal growth as well. The best way to make your child confidant is by letting him/her breathe in fresh air, play and interact with kids of same age group. It not only helps them to open up but also tackle conflicts and take decisions.
  • Studies were not the only thing: We learned many other things apart from studies. We were taught manners and respect for everyone. We were closely attached to our culture and learned it practically. Unfortunately not a lot of kids can learn from nature  like we did about plants, weather,birds and nature, most of the things kids learn today is restricted to books only whereas we learned everything practically.
  • Kids were not over protected: It’s good to pamper your child but being too much protective about your child can make them feeble and less confidant. We played, fell and got up on our own. We fought with our kids and resolved things on our own. These small experiences prepared us for future difficulties and help us make decisions. This taught us to take our own decisions. It is sometime better to let your child fall and get up on their own.

There are definitely things which have changed for good but there is still a lot of things we can learn from our parents.

What is your take on this?

Believe and good things will happen to you!

Lokah Samastah sukhino bhavantu!

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How to prepare yourself physically for motherhood?

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Pregnancy is a beautiful experience. You will be pampered and loved by everyone around you.Your motherhood will enrich your life and add another dimension to your married life. And like every other challenge you have won over.. you will come victorious here as well. 

Plan it wisely and enjoy the beautiful experience.

  • Fix an appointment with a gynaecologist: Having a baby is a blissful experience but its equally challenging if you are not prepared physically: Your body goes through a lot of stress and strain during these 9 months and your child’s health also depends on your health. The challenge doesn’t stop after the child birth but it continues as you lose a lot during the birth process .So it is important to monitor and know your current medical condition. First thing you should be doing is fix and appointment with a gynaecologist. Start as soon as possible so that your body has time to recover from deficiencies or any other medical conditions which most of Asian women suffer after a certain age. More than anything else it is important to follow your prescribed medicine routine. Once you are ready your doctor would let you know about it. Take the doctor’s instructions very seriously.

 

  • Follow a healthier diet Chart: Medicines can fix your deficiencies temporarily, but put in the effort to make healthier choices of eating. You can either opt for a dietitian or explore online about your eating requirements. This is the best time to improve your eating habits.  You must know that it’s common to getting higher sugar or thyroid level during pregnancy, so best time to save your self is now. Reduce your sugar intake and get some yoga classes. Please know that managing your sugar and thyroid level is extremely critical.

 

  • Reduce some weight: Get back to a normal weight. Exercise, yoga and walking should become a regular part of your life. A proper weight will help you conceive easily and without any medications. A proper weight will also help you avoid a lot of other health related concerns which you might face otherwise. It is not essential to lose a lot of weight but shredding a few pounds will help a lot.

 

  • Take walks after dinner: Taking walks help you manage your weight without a lot of effort .It is especially helpful for people who don’t get time to work out .This would also help you get a sound sleep and help you steel some quality time with your partner. As you get pregnant , the most challenging part would be keeping yourself active, if you continue this activity ,things will be much easier for you.

 

  • Meditate and Meditate: Meditation is going to be your mantra for a healthy and positive pregnancy. The physical and emotional stress can drain you out, but meditation will help you maintain a positive mind set and give you a lot of relief. It’s important to start as soon as possible. You can join proper classes or can search through videos on YouTube. 
  • Start taking care of your skin ,hair and teeth: As I said earlier pregnancy period is going to be demanding a lot from you physically but if you take proper care of yourself things will become easier . Start taking special care of your skin, hair and teeth so that they are also perfectly strong and prepared to face the challenge. Ensure a regular visit to your dentist, you can follow the natural remedies for your skin and hair care.

Believe and good things will happen to you!

Lokah Samastah sukhino bhavantu!

How to prepare your career for parenthood?

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It is your life and you should be the one to decide the right time to become a parent. You must ensure that you are mentally, physically and financially prepared to take this new step.

Few things to consider before you take this new step as per my experience

Discuss with your partner-It is extremely important for both of you to be mentally and financially prepared to become parents. Have an open discussion and reach a mutual decision. Any time you feel you are ready for this responsibility is the best time. This decision is going to have an impact on both of your lives and your career. A decision to have a baby will impact your work and you will need to juggle between home and work. So, be mentally prepared and ensure you have right and supportive, prepared and happy partner.

Plan out your options for baby care: If you are working then being a mother will definitely bring in a lot of questions like “Who will take care of the baby while you are away from home for work? “ You may need to make a choice between working from home, taking help of your parents or day care services. Talk to your parents and family members

Investigate about options at work: You must ensure that by the time you have your baby, you have spent some time at your organization and are in peace with the work culture. Set expectations of few lesser hours of work. Be aware about the health policies and facilities like work from home. There are several other helpful facilities like day care and health policies, medical reimbursements etc.

Consider your current job: Life after having a baby will require a lot of attention to your personal life. There is nothing to worry about but it definitely requires a clear perspective that at times you must ensure that your personal life is your priority. It is important to set clear expectations with your office and people around that you will require more time with your child. It would be difficult for you to bring in this kind of comfort in anew working environment hence its recommended to stay in your old job where people know you and have seen you performing in past.

Believe and good things will happen to you!

Lokah Samastah sukhino bhavantu!

What are the benefits of dressing well?

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Have you ever felt invisible at your work place or your close social community? No, it does not mean people dislike you. It simply means people don’t notice you.

I have experienced this invisibility on several occasions. I am not talking about seeking attention nor talking about being overdressed and over expensive. I am simply talking about dressing up to look simply our best, dressing up to feel tidy, clean and positive.

I started noticing people around me who were happier, positive and full of energy. The way they dress better was distinctly visible.

On improving few of my dressing habits, helped me experience a lot of positivity around me.

Sharing few of my experiences:

  • Pumps up your confidence level: There are difficult days at work which reduces our confidence. Looking your best automatically boosts your mood and makes you feel good about yourself. You will be prepared to face the difficult conversations with confidence.
  • A well-dressed person commands respect: Everybody likes being around a positive and pleasant person. A well-dressed person looks like someone who like themselves and hence you like them automatically. You would always take the person more seriously
  • People notice you: You would never be able to ignore a well-dressed person. It becomes easier for the person to face any event or people as you feel so positive about yourself. If you are well dressed people will like you and enjoy your company.
  • It helps you with personal branding: A well- dressed is more likeable. The way you dress up speaks a lot about you and your personality. So people already know and understand a lot about you, even when they might not have interacted with you.
  • Your dressing shows what you deserve in future: People gauge a lot about your capabilities by the way you dress up. Especially if you talk about office or interview, you are half way through if you are dressed appropriately for it.
  • Your dressing raises up your standard: As you raise the standard and understanding of your dress up, the standard of what people expect from you also increases. This improvement in turn will help you excel in other parts of life as well.
  • People accept you as a leader: A study shows that in a group of strangers, people are 3 times more likely to oblige with a person dressed in a suit than in a casual dress. Different dressing styles conveys different personality traits
  • You take yourself seriously: You can simply compare the difference in your productivity on Sunday mornings where you keep lying in your pajamas and the ones when you get dressed up for work.
  • It reduces envious thoughts about others: The moment you are confident about yourself, the “J “ factor reduces considerably. You like yourself and completely satisfied with your achievements.

No matter what place it is, dress up for the moment and enjoy the difference it creates.

What is your take on this?

How to maintain your good health when you have a new born baby or a busy job schedule?

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A demanding job routine or a new born baby can derail your attention on your health. If you rethink about either of it, success and relationships are the essence of your life. This is that ultimate goal that we keep running towards. So when you get either of it or both, it’s time to cherish it and enjoy the juggle.

There are few small things which would create huge difference in the way you live.

  • Wake up 20 minutes earlier if possible: If you are working then it would not be difficult for you to get up little earlier but if you have a baby then it might be difficult than it sounds. Ensure whenever possible, you meditate and do breathing exercise.
  • Start taking stairs whenever possible: Try taking stairs to your house and office. This might sound a very small action to take but it would definitely be a good physical exercise.
  • Have a lot of warm water: If you start having warm water continuously then your metabolism improves automatically. One of best methods to keep a check on your fat level is having warm water.
  • Make a healthier choice of eating: Avoid eating out as much as possible. Making small vigilant choices improves your health up to a great deal.
  • Your dinner should always be light: Never over eat or over eat in your dinner. A light dinner gives your body to digest food properly.
  • Take a small walk with your kid and partner: Taking a small walk every night after dinner would not only regularize your health but also help you recreate your bond with your partner.
  • Take good rest: Remember that your body is also a machine, it needs rest to recover from the loss. Please ensure that you take a good rest whenever and wherever possible. Do not feel guilty for spending leisure time.
  • Include any outdoor hobby or skill classes in you routine: Join any hobby or skill classes that will not only polish your skills but also keep your brain and body active. Staying indoors for a long time can slower down your life. Keep on with the pace of the world.
  • Weekend workout routine: It is practically impossible to work out with such a hectic life but you can still live up to your body requirements by choosing to work out on weekends. 2 to 3 days of work out in a week.

What are your thoughts about this work life balance?

 

How to survive a job you don’t enjoy?

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No job is perfect but everyone at some point of time experiences a job situation where survival is next to impossible.

Has it ever happened with you when you found yourself stuck in a job that made you absolutely uncomfortable but you were still not able to leave it, as you could not take a chance to stay without being paid or your career can be hampered?

Think about the real purpose of the job: There must be some purpose or dream that your job is helping you with. May be your paycheck is helping you to save for your dream home or help you buy the ticket for your international trip. No matter how difficult the days are at your work but whenever you get paid for it, it facilitates few of your requirements or dreams. The moment you feel like giving up or breaking down, take a deep breath and imagine yourself living your dream.

Do not take negative people, comments or behaviors seriously: The most difficult part of the job you don’t enjoy, is the negative behaviors or the negative vibes around your work place. If you start taking everything at your heart, it will be really difficult for you to live the remaining part of your life. Ensure the moment you are out of your workplace, you don’t forget to leave your baggage behind. Enjoy the remaining hours by living with your loved ones and work on your self-development. Remember your job is just a part of your life but not your complete life.

Make a list of behaviors and skills your job has helped you improve: Recall everything that you have learned during the course of this difficult job. It can be a behavior like persistence, patience or emotional intelligence or skills like writing, designing or anything else. This experience will make your next work experience comparatively easier as you gladly survived the last job.

This job gives you an opportunity to focus on your self-development: The days are definitely difficult when you are in a job like this. There is a hidden benefit behind a job you don’t love and engrossed in, gives you time to utilize your time and attention to upgrade your skill. This would also provide you an opportunity of working on your self-development.

This jobs keeps paying you till you find your near perfect job: If you are totally done with your job, try looking for a better opportunity while you are already in this job. No matter how difficult your job is, it gives you an upper hand in negotiation. Moreover you will continue getting paid, no matter how least interested you are in your job.

Find out things that can lighten your mind when you are at work: Ensure you have a healthy circle of collegues and friends who support you. You can join any hobby classes if you have an opportunity, strengthen your relationship with people across departments. This may help you in landing to better opportunities within the organization.

Remember the doors to exit is always opened: It is important to survive through difficult situation like these but not at the cost of your emotional and mental health. The moment you feel it is too much to survive, remember no one can stop you. It is not wise to let anyone torture yourself.

Apart from everything else, what remains the most important part of this story is prioritizing your emotional and mental health. The moment you feel it’s more than you can take, it’s time to move on.

You just need to believe in yourself. Remember” Where God Guides, he provides”

10 thing you can change in your morning routine to feel happier

imagesDo you believe that good start of the morning sets the tune for rest of the day?What is your ritual for morning to ensure a good day ahead?

Like everyone else, there are several mornings where my day starts slipping out of my hand because of smallest of problems like missing my cab, unable to iron my clothes or no breakfast as my cook did not turn up.

I have tried to develop small rituals which can uplift my mood and prevents me from a bad day.

Take your time for a good sleep: Our body is a machine which needs rest after the entire day of hard work. Our mind and body rejuvenates and heals itself during our sleep hours. You must have felt the difference yourself between the days you had your sound sleep and the days where you kept taking left and right turns. A proper sleeping routine not only ensures physical relaxation but also mental strength and activeness. This can have a direct impact on your work.

Start your breakfast with protein rich food: We normally tend to start our day with typical Indian breakfast like paranthas or cereal and milk. If we observe from body’s benefit point of view, a protein rich food is the best breakfast to start the day with. This ensures that body takes up effort to break down our protein intake and this keeps us awake in the morning

Prepare for the next morning in advance: Most of the mornings are difficult because of the anxiety we face with the unpreparedness for the day. It is always a good idea to make a small to do list in advance to avoid the chaos and stress you can face. Get the preparation for your breakfast done in advance. It is also suggested that you keep your clothes ready for next day.

Start your morning with brightness: Allow natural light to flow in your room. Bright sunlight ensures your mood is improved and positive. It will also ensure that you never lack vitamin D which .Please know that deficiency of Vitamin D can lead to low mood and depression.

Start your day with breathing exercise and light walk: It is important to pump your blood vessels. I understand that it is very difficult to take out time in the morning while you have to rush to your work. Simple breathing exercise like pranayama and kapal-bhati or 15 minutes of brisk walk can do the trick for you.

Take out some time to ensure you look your best: The days you look your best are full of confidence. I have felt that if I look good I feel better prepared to face people and challenges. To ensure a good mood, ensure you look good.

Try to commute early and avoid traffic: Travelling during quiet no traffic hours are very pleasant. It is actually treat than a pain. So ensure you start from your home sometime earlier than everyone else. It would help you keeping your mood pleasant and peaceful.

Deal with your challenge first thing in the morning: It is a good practice to deal with biggest of your challenge, first thing in the morning. Dealing with your challenges, first thing in the morning will help you providing the best quality of performance
Take out time to interact and smile at people around you: Smile at everyone around you, this will uplift your mood and in turn create positivity around you. This will enhance your relationship with people and set the tone for the remaining day ahead.
Continue reading 10 thing you can change in your morning routine to feel happier

How to create a liking for yourself at your work place?

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How important do you think it is to create a calm and positive environment around your work place?

Ultimately workplace is your second home, you spend maximum days and hours of your life at your work place and that is why it’s very important for us to at least feel comfortable and positive at your work place.

At the same time it’s equally important for us to be professional and at times very decisive at work. It’s practically impossible for a human to be liked by everyone all the times.

So, how to ensure a balance between your personal and professional relationship?

  • Remain Transparent and professional: It is very important to maintain a clear expectations with your peers. You should represent your integrity. Try being as polite and professional while sharing feedback or email. People might dislike your professional approach initially, but they would gradually start appreciating it as it would bring more clarity between personal and professional relationship. The best idea is to share feedback or enter discussion with a polite voice, clear data and right intention.
  • Appreciate and show gratitude: Saying thank you for any support provided will bring you in a friendly terms with your colleagues. Showing gratitude towards people around you will help you create a positive outlook towards your job. Remember having a job allows you to step out of four walls surroundings and make friends.
  • Own your mistakes and take their responsibility: How do you handle the situation where some work gets messed up due to your mistake? What is your plan of action after a mistake in a report or when you get a stinker mail for any silly mistakes you could not notice even after several proof readings? I remember days when I ended up making excuses or reacting badly at my own mistakes. I have learned over several mistakes that accepting your mistakes will make you look like a normal human being. It’s sometimes alright to be vulnerable. It’s alright to feel low but at the same time accepting your own mistakes gracefully will make you look better and it is also important for you to list out your mistakes and promise yourself to not repeat the same mistake.
  • Stop badmouthing or complaining: Your authenticity and real character reflects in the way you talk about someone at their back. If you really want to criticize any one from your professional circle, ensure it comes in a form of a feedback. There is no point in taking things personally at work. Even when you are upset and want to talk about someone who was unreasonable and incorrect according to you, hold on the urge till you reach your own people.
  • Stop Gossiping: Sometimes gossiping feels like an easy way out for fun. It is a strict no no if you are looking for a serious career. Hold on your temptation to gossip and enjoy this only in your personal space. Professional life will always be full of ups and downs. Not everybody at work can like you but you can ensure they respect you.

 

What is your take on this?  🙂

Believe and good thing will happen!

 

How to increase your self-confidence and will power?

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Sometimes we fail at achieving what we are capable of achieving with a little effort.The reason of our failure is lack of will power and self confidence most of the times. Easiest of things like getting up early in the morning or keeping yourself away from sweets seem like an impossible task.

I have gone through similar stage in my life and failed several times.Today I feel much better as I understand the reasons of my failure and cure to it . I firmly believe that it is something I can really work on .

  • Genius is about Practice-Every expert was once a beginner. The concept of gifted genius is a myth. Genius is all about practice, persistence, dealing with failure  and continuing self-development. Talk about people like Andre Agassi or David Beckham who have worked and practised for several hours without losing their heart at minor defeats. It is said that practising any art for 10 thousand hours  can make you genius at the art. Read the book “Outliers” by “Malcom Gladwell”  to understand this rule further.So it is important for you to start practising your art with sheer determination and never give up.
  • Small daily improvements lead to stunning Success-It is not possible to achieve your goal in a single day. Success is a journey which requires a lot patience. It needs you to achieve  several smaller milestones on the way. Remember “No idea works out until you work- Robin Sharma” .You must break your major goals into smaller ones to achieve success.
  • Meditation increases your will power and self-confidence –As proved by scientific research “an hour of meditation helps the growth of Prefrontal Cortex”. Pre-frontal cortex is that part of brain which contributes to complex human behaviours like planning and contributes to factors like self-confidence and self-esteem.
  • Proper sleeping hours and routine– A study published in the journal of Neuro Science proves that staying awake kills brain cells in mice and researchers suggest that it can have similar impact on human brain. Insufficient sleeping hours can lead to dysfunctional prefrontal cortex as well. So ensure you maintain a proper sleep routine and get proper hours of sleep. This will help your brain in dealing better with adversities and stress. Proper sleeping hours also ensure a pleasant and positive mindset.
  • Positive affirmations- Well quoted in my favourite book The Secret “If you can think about what you want in your mind, and make that your dominant thought, you will bring it into your life. “ Positive affirmations is the art of choosing right thoughts and speaking it to yourself till you start believing in it. Every time you are low and feel like beating yourself or badmouthing about everything around you, pause and change your statements to a positive one and repeat to yourself. It would do wonders for you by gifting you a better perspective of situations and a positive mindset.
  • Make less choices-The idea of being able to make less choices can make your life simpler than you can imagine. It can help you by eliminating several unnecessary struggles we make every day. Reduce the piles of unnecessary thing lying down at your home. De-clutter your home and choose things which “Spark Joy- Marie Kondo”.

Remember that strengthening your Self Confidence and will power is a similar process like strengthening your body muscles. Keep working towards it and you will achieve what you are looking for.

Believe and good things will happen !

 

 

5 ways to stop being judged?

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I remember being extremely worried about being judged by everyone.

I wanted to be looked at and talked about as an ideal girl and that’s exactly where I was wrong!

Being a woman will make you a subject to judgement at every step in your life.

But what do you do to ensure you are not judged?

I would like to share the solution that worked for me :

  • People would never stop judging you, but you can stop caring:

There will always be people around you who will judge you for being what you are, for wearing what you wear, for doing what you do. You don’t owe any explanation to anyone. The next time you hear anything about yourself just smile and being who you are as others are probably jealous of you as they cannot have the kind of life you have.

 

  • Understand that you cannot keep everyone happy: The only person who you need to take care of or keep happy is you. If you have to choose at time chose yourself wherever appropriate. Remember if you take care of yourself, you will be able to take care of your people in a more efficient way.

 

  • Ignore the company of people who tell you about what others talk about you: It’s important to understand that people who tell you what others think about you can be the ones who are manipulating things. Ignore such company and make it very clear that you want no negative talks.

 

  • Focus on being what you actually are: You don’t need to change yourself based on what others think about you. If you really intend to change, it should be for your self-development

 

  • Boost your Self Confidence: Work on you confidence, normally any negative thoughts can over power you only if you have self-doubts. Go for physical activities or meditation. You can use positive self-affirmations to boost your self-confidence and surround yourself with people who believe in you.